Deference
/ˈdɛfərəns/
nounB2
Definition
Deference is the act of giving respect or honor to someone else. It often happens when you listen carefully to someone’s opinion or follow their wishes because you think they know better or deserve respect.
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See It in Action
Respectful behavior toward someone because of their status or age
- •She showed deference to her teacher by listening carefully.
- •In many cultures, young people show deference to their elders.
- •The employees acted with deference toward the company president.
Willingness to accept another’s opinion or wishes politely
- •Out of deference to his experience, they followed his advice.
- •He spoke in deference to the senior manager’s decision.
Make It Stick
- ✓Think of 'deference' like 'respect,' but more about acting politely and carefully to show you honor someone’s position or feelings.
- ✓Picture a younger person listening quietly while an older person speaks, showing they value what the older person says.
- ✓It’s the feeling you have when you let someone go first in line because you want to be polite.
- ✓Sounds like 'DEAF-er-ence' → imagine someone being carefully quiet and listening because they respect another person’s words.
- ✓Think of a knight bowing to a king in stories, showing respect and following the king’s wishes.
- ✓NOT like 'disrespect' (rude or ignoring someone), deference is the opposite—being polite and thoughtful.
- ✓NOT like 'obedience' (just following orders), deference comes from respect and choice, not only rules.
- ✓NOT like 'admiration' (liking someone), deference is about polite behavior, not just feelings.
Try Other Words
- •Respect: general feeling of valuing someone (Use when talking about feelings rather than specific polite actions)
- •Honor: showing great respect (Use when emphasizing admiration or formal recognition)
- •Obedience: following orders or rules (Use when the focus is on obeying rather than choosing to be polite)
- •Consideration: thinking about others’ feelings (Use when focusing on being thoughtful rather than formal respect)
Unboxing
- •Word parts: 'de-' (from, down) + 'fer' (carry, bring) + '-ence' (noun suffix) → literally 'carrying down' or 'giving way'
- •Etymology: From Latin 'deferre,' meaning to carry away, bring down, or yield
- •Historical development: Originally meant to yield or submit; over time, it came to mean polite respect or yielding to others’ wishes
- •Modern usage: Used to describe respectful behavior toward people with authority, age, or experience; common in formal or polite contexts
Reflect & Connect
•How do you show deference in your culture or family? Are there special situations for it?
•Can deference sometimes be confused with weakness? When is it important to balance respect and standing up for yourself?
Fill in the blanks
1.When meeting an elder, it is polite to show deference by ___ your attention and listening carefully.
2.Deference often happens because someone has more ___ or experience in a certain area.
3.Unlike simple respect, deference usually includes polite ___ or behavior toward the person.
4.He acted in deference to the teacher’s advice, so he ___ to her opinion even if he disagreed.
5.Showing deference does not mean blind obedience, but a ___ to the other person’s position.
6.In some cultures, children are taught to show deference by ___ their elders in conversation.
7.When someone speaks with deference, you can tell they feel ___ for the person they address.